Before we start I would like to give you the Plutocrats definition of a best friend: it’s a male that for a significant amount of time has shown loyalty, trustworthiness, respect and honesty. These are imperative qualities of a best friend, and a person lacking one in truth lacks them all. In this increasingly connected world, best friends are becoming harder and harder to find. Even though they are slowly becoming a rarity, they still are and will always be a male necessity.
It’s hard being a lone ranger, and although they are sometimes seen as the “non-conformist”; in reality they are just a lonely man.Sure, you might be reading this saying to yourself “this isn’t me, I have tons of friends.” But can you engage those people to talk about the real issues in life, or are they just there for the weekends? Can you call them to help you through a hard decision, or are they just your friend because you just made partner at the law firm? A true best friend is there with you through thick and thin. Whether if it’s going to the bar just to talk, or standing beside you at your wedding day. Men with unchecked social issues and lack of meaningful relationships develop self-destructive behaviors like omnipotence, projection, cynicism, devaluation, intellectualization, delusion, rebellion, and inferiority. The weight of the world is always on their shoulders, and seemingly no one is capable of relating. Depending on their background and how they are raised, this social isolation can make them feel overly narcissistic or cripplingly depressed. Men need encouragement and to be around those who are like-minded and share similar goals. Yes, you can juggle hundreds of lower level friends for each specific goal, but someone who sees the same big picture as you will be more equipped to help you shape it.
A best friend is there to be the voice of reason when those around you don’t care, or are too scared to say anything against you. Giving advice that is beneficial to you in the long run is one of the main goals of the best friend. Often it is him that will say some of the best and worst things to you in your life. You may not always like the words they say, but if you understand where they are coming from you will be grateful. Sometimes men find themselves in positions of power where an honest individual is more valuable than gold. No money can buy it, and no money can find it (remember that old saying about making new friends & keeping the old?) People will say just about anything to stay in favor so that they can promote themselves, and if that means ending your career before it starts then so be it. Only your good friends will have; 1 the knowledge of you and your potential, 2 the experience with you to know what is best for you, and 3 the honesty to keep it 100 with you no matter the circumstance. As men we aren’t always in love with criticism, but when you know your critique is coming from a place of love, it makes the pill easier to swallow. So the next time your friend tells you not to date that stripper that you fell in love with after 5 whole minutes, take his advice. He’s not jealous of your incredible stripper game. He’s saving you from the clink after you punched one of her regulars; who was a little “too happy” to see her outside of work.
Do you remember when you used to wear out-of style graphic tees and ill-fitting jeans to the club? No, just me huh? Well thank God my friends sat me down and let me know I had to change if I was going anywhere in public with them. I became a better man because of it. Your best friends are supposed to bring the best out of you and you do the same for them. They are the ones who spot you, so that you stick to your gym memberships. Seeing their wisdom and accomplishments should push you to fight for the next level. A good friendship is never about jealousy, it is a friendly rivalry that sharpens each individual. All parties know what they contribute, and are striving to catch up where they are lacking. It is the best friend’s job to make sure others get there, and in some cases surpass them. If your best friends don’t expect anything from you, you should re-evaluate how much they are really invested in you. Sometimes guys fall into the trap of being a “male groupie”, the person there just to boost the other’s ego about himself or his situation. Anyone not rooting for your success and helping you obtain it is not your best friend. You should handle them accordingly.
Probably the most important role of a best friend is being there in times of crisis. If you have just gotten fired or are going through a messy divorce, these are times where your best friends are invaluable. They don’t even have to say much, but letting out painful emotions is a hard thing for men. A best friend is sometimes the only outlet that men have before turning to drugs, sex, alcohol, and denial. It’s no secret that men are in pain these days. Recession, high divorce rates, and just plain life has left many discouraged and disheartened. Being built how we are, we do everything in our power to take things in stride, keep our heads up and manage. We persevere through the situation, we go home to our families, but the scars are still there. If left unchecked these scars fester and become deep rooted problems of their own, infecting and poisoning those around us. There are so many things a beer with your best bud solves, and one thing that always results is perspective. Chances are they are feeling many of the same emotions you are feeling, and if you are going through it they are going through it.
That’s the code. They are the first to talk you out of a fight and the first to go to war if a battle erupts; the first to point out a mistake and the first to celebrate your success. If he isn’t your brother, its closest thing you ever had to one. This is the way of a best friend, and this is why dogs revel in his title.